Favorite Quotations

“If scientists won't play God, who will?
Richard Hoey

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.”
Hunter S. Thompson

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”
Dave Barry

“There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.”

“I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.”
Sam Spade

“It’s difficult to work in a group when you’re omnipotent!”

“Check out the big brain on Brett!”
Jules Winnefield

“It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.”
Henry Jones, Jr.

“It isn't the rebels who cause the troubles of the world. It's the troubles that cause the rebels.”
Carl Oglesby

“I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, save me, Superman!”
Homer Simpson

“(We) live our lives, lacking anything better to do. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose.
“This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us…”

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
“You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
Steven Wright

“Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!”

Mrs. Hogwallop done R-U-N-N-O-F-T.”
Washington Hogwallop

“Some designers are equally inept at following rules or breaking them. Good designers can do either.”
Jim Alley

“Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so I must wear a disguise that will strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night, like a... a... a bat!”
Bruce Wayne

“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe”
Carl Sagan

“By Grabthar’s hammer, you shall be avenged!”
Dr. Lazarus

“When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.”

“I don’t have I life. I have a program.”
The Doctor

“I do not believe in immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it.”
Albert Einstein

“I am not a merry man!”

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

“The only time we doctors should accept death is when it’s caused by our own incompetence!”
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“It is very important that you don’t suck today.”
Mr. White

“All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.”
Steven Wright

“The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now.”
Navin Johnson

“Them sirens loved him up, and turned him into a horny toad.”
Delmar O’Donnell

“Gosh you’re cute. Wanna buy a monkey?”
Old Salt

“I’m impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it”

“Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? You think I'm qualified?”